The theme is that if Ford asked his customers what they wanted they would have said faster horses. If Jobs had asked consumers if they wanted and iPad, they’d have said, “what?”

This is how the argument against market research goes. It has some truth to it but it’s also an oversimplification. The Howard Roark instinct to create in a vacuum the beautiful original thing with no feedback is charming but not ideal. This is especially the case when you need partners and customers. You need someone’s feedback at some point.

The key for me has always been choosing my spots and allowing for marination. As I look back on my career, it occurs to me that I have always been biz deving a deal or selling a product that is new. I’ve also had the luxury in all cases of being faced with large markets of many many potential partners/buyers.

The key for me has also been not to argue. When faced with strong initial pushback, I listen, converse, and don’t try to convince. I focus on those eager to experiment and those who have questions and specific needs, as opposed to those that prefer to say “no.” I do, however, remain in touch and keep the doors open.

I take this strategy for several reasons. Some people prefer not to do new things. So their push back has little to do with my product. Others prefer not to experiment, so the best thing I can do is work with early adopters to prove out success that they can then seek to emulate.  Finally, some of those who push back strong just need time and silence to marinate on the idea, to ping me every week or so with a question or two. I can’t change their process, or if I tried it would take a lot of time and probably be unsuccessful.

The luxury here is that I’ve never been in a market with one or two possible partners. In fact, I hate markets like that for exactly the reasons stated above.  When your market has thousands of buyers and partners, you can just keep moving and not dwell on one counterparty. This has that added benefit of when you leave someone alone, he or she has his time to think through the offering, ask questions at his own pace, and see your success in the market.

You never want to “convince” someone of something, just like you don’t want to convince someone to marry you.  A relationship that begins with convincing will always be a struggle.

The most concrete example I can give today, is with regard to viral and social advertising.  We still meet some people who think viral and social advertising should be free. They believe that if they make a good video and tweet it out, the world will see it.  This view is quickly becoming rarer and rarer, but when I see it, I explain big seed marketing, listen, and move on.